Sunday, January 01, 2006

all she wants is the sperm

best show ever on animal planet: wild sex- femme fatale

here are some reasons why...
(oh and imagine an elderly caucasian male saying all the quotes)

polar bears
polar bears have sex for like 2 weeks straight. so to keep it up the males have a bone in their penis.
and they have sex so hard that the bone inside the bone BREAKS

talking about some little mouse creature called antiquinas or something
"he signed his own death warrant with sperm"
"he may be hard... but she's far from soft."

all the males DIE after the mating season. ALL OF THEM. drop dead. from too much sex.

talking about the praying mantis
"being eaten alive would put most males off sex..." have you spent time with college boys lately?
"the female begins to clean up. she's had sex... and supper." hahaha this ones just funny because she actually ate his EYE.

-they showed the female GNAWING on the males head. she fucking slurped up his eyeball like it was a gumball. and the little bugger was still alive and still climbed up on her, headless and all...

talking about a tarantula
"now, carrying his own fresh seed, he sets off on a date." just how i like my men. don't bring me flowers. i want FRESH SEED!
"now he feels around for her reproductive slit..." oh yeah baby, touch my reproductive slit...

and my absolute favorite: "all she wants is the sperm."

ohhhh. good times on animal planet.

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